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 HumphreysRod |
World's Shortest Fairy Tale? |
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Posts: 17 24-Sep-09 4:26 PM |
World's Shortest Fairy Tale? Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. The end.  |
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aussiepom |
#1 | |||
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Posts: 275 24-Sep-09 8:29 PM |
Women's Revenge: "Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she
fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.
Wife Vs Husband A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." Words A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" Stupid And Beautiful A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! The Beast Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the beast in me." So what?" his wife shot back. "Who's afraid of a mouse?" Coffee A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.... "HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." WE WIN!! 
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Bad to the Bone Bob |
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Posts: 1295 25-Sep-09 7:07 AM |
HumphreysRod wrote: You can streamline your life and save lawyer costs. Just buy a house and car for a woman you don't like. |
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KatieBB |
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Posts: 2 25-Sep-09 7:11 AM |
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Chris W962 |
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Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' The story really could be ended right there and it still would be clear as water
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Bad to the Bone Bob |
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Posts: 1295 27-Sep-09 5:48 AM |
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' |
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JoeyDark07 |
#6 | |||
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Posts: 14 4-Oct-09 8:55 AM |
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears." Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself, 'what problem could be greater than this one?'" Husband: "What are you doing?" Wife: "Nothing." Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date." A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor." Boy: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden." Girl: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles." Boy: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet." Wife: "Do you want dinner?" Husband: "Sure. What are my choices?" Wife: "Yes or no." LOL xD |
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Banned A |
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Posts: 88 4-Oct-09 12:32 PM |
I love this one.
Husband: "What are you doing?" |
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